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This was a question someone asked me this week, and I suspect it’s one many of us ask ourselves. For many of us, the word “leader” implies some sort of hierarchy, and if you don’t see yourself at the “top”, telling people what to do, it can feel as though leadership belongs to someone else. I certainly remember feeling like this many times in my life:
Much of the leadership thinking of the early twentieth century framed leadership as something held by a rare few, born with the right traits and positioned at the top to direct everyone below them. But what if leadership isn’t about a title, hierarchy or status at all? To me, leadership is a way of being. Anyone can lead, regardless of title, race or social status, because leadership is the place you come from rather than the position you hold. For example, daughter led me this morning, when she reminded me to have fun and play. That said, leadership in adulthood does ask a couple things of us:
I want to double-click on the resistance piece.
Leadership isn’t about preaching, it’s about embodiment. It isn’t about telling others what to do, but about practising it yourself first. In my upcoming book, Lead From Within, I share something that helped me see the true essence of leadership, whether that’s in business, at home with family, as a parent, or as a member of your community: Years ago, I came across an excerpt from Will Bowen’s book, A Complaint Free World, that helped me cultivate the courage to live and lead more authentically, regardless of what others were doing around me.
He described that, in a vineyard, one grape will begin to ripen, and in doing so, it sends out an enzyme, a fragrance, or an energy field of some kind that is picked up by the other grapes. This one grape signals to the other grapes that it is time to change, i.e. time to ripen.
As I went about my work in this space, my life experience demonstrated the truth of this. I have been inspired to change by what others have embodied, and as I embody what’s true for me, I have seen others inspired to embody what’s true for them. It’s a positive ripple effect.
When you hold yourself to a higher standard in your words, your thoughts and your actions, something powerful starts to shift in the people around you. Not because you have told them to change, preached or lectured anyone, but purely because of your way of being. Without saying a word, you raise the bar for everyone in your presence, and people begin to feel that it is time for them to step up too.
The impact you have on others is far greater than your doubting mind would have you believe. A single individual choosing to raise their standard can shift the tone of a room, a team, a family, a 5,000-person organisation, and even an entire country.
Reference: Bowen, W. (2007). A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted. New York: Doubleday. Reflection questions: Where are you holding yourself back from taking the lead because you feel you need permission from someone else? Where could you lead by example this week, simply through your way of being, without saying a word? Jaineel P.S. here are some next steps if you… 📖 My debut book, Lead From Within: 9 Shifts to Unlock Your True Self and Step Into Authentic Leadership, is launching early November. Download the introduction and chapter one for free when you join the waitlist here. 🧭 Take the Lead From Within Quiz today to find your alignment assessment, and see where you’re doing well and what may need work, with specific tips to support you. 🧘 Want to start your day as the conscious creator rather than the reactor? Download my free 20-minute guided visualisation to calibrate your energy each morning. 📅 Considering coaching, a workshop or speaker for your next event? Let’s connect. Book a call here. Enjoyed this newsletter? Send it to a friend or colleague. Sign up here for more. |
