|
There are moments in life when everything seems to be pressing in on you at once, when the path forward is unclear, when the weight of it all is heavy, and during these times it can be so easy to lose faith and question yourself and your path. Today’s newsletter is for you if you are in one of those moments right now, or this is one to save for when you find yourself here in the future. 1. If it weren’t for tough times, you wouldn’t have become who you are today Think about who you were three years ago, five years, ten, even three months ago. The version of you that sat at that desk late at night wondering if things would ever shift, the version of you that walked into that meeting room not sure if you had what it took, the version of you that faced what felt like an impossible set of circumstances and somehow found a way through. The Stoics understood this at a level most of us cannot grasp in a world of comfort. It is not in spite of the hardships you have faced but because of them that you have become who you are. Every battle, every decision made in uncertainty, every moment where you carried the weight of a team or a family or a vision while internally wondering if you were enough, has compounded into the person you’ve become. Like a tree in a storm whose roots deepen under pressure, it is the resistance that has made you stronger. Whatever obstacle may seem ahead of you, it is the path, and the reward is not the destination at the end but in who you are becoming in the process. Your younger self would look at who you have become and be in awe. Don’t forget to celebrate that, because the cost of not doing so is that you keep measuring yourself against how far you still have to go, rather than honouring the ground already covered beneath your feet. 2. You’re more effective being your greatest cheerleader than your worst critic You are the only one who will ever be with you for the rest of your life. More specifically, I am writing about the relationship you have with your mind and that inner voice. No one else lives there. No one else hears the stories running in the background, no one else is present for the commentary beneath every decision. The voice that sits with you in the early hours when you are lying awake replaying the meeting that didn’t go how you wanted, or staring at the ceiling wondering if you are doing enough, being enough, moving fast enough. The problem many of us have is that we become our own worst critic in these times, overthinking, overanalysing, trying to protect the illusion that is our ego. In the difficult seasons, you are in the arena of life. Pitching to investors that tear your product apart, parenting your second child at 4am while your first needs to be at school a few hours later, dealing with a toxic work culture that tries to corner you because they see your potential as a threat. In the arena you will get battered. But recovery is vital, and by recovery I mean coming home to your true nature of inner peace, love, and joy. As Marcus Aurelius wrote, “Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul.” Give yourself grace. When you are at peace within yourself, when you feel whole and complete within, no one can take that away from you, and it is from this place of retreat and rest that you find the energy, resilience, and purpose to carry on walking back into the arena. 3. It is in the darkness that the light is revealed When you are sitting in a boardroom where people are not treating you how you deserve to be treated, when you are in an environment that is draining the life from you, when you look in the mirror and feel disconnected from the person looking back, it is in these moments of contrast that the greatest clarity emerges. When you know what you don’t want, you are able to get clear on what you do. Treat your attention as a flashlight in the dark, because whatever you point that flashlight at becomes more of your reality. Where focus goes, energy flows, and where energy flows, your results show. The mess and the darkness are not something to escape as quickly as possible, they are required, they are the very condition in which the next version of you becomes possible. Move quickly from what you don’t want to what you do want, because as I always say, the contrast is not the enemy of clarity, it is the creator of it. 4. You don’t have to have it all figured out Stop trying to keep it all together. We all need to be broken apart at times in order to come back greater. Just as the Japanese art of Kintsugi repairs broken pottery with gold, making it more beautiful for having been broken, the cracks in you are not signs of failure but the very places where your character and depth are being formed. Let go of needing to look good, be right, or have it all figured out. The people you’re trying to impress are likely seeking the very part of you you’re hiding. Most of us are in our logical minds all day, and in this day-to-day thinking we create and solve our problems. But there are some points in life that require an answer beyond logic, and in these moments we must surrender the analytical mind to something of a greater intelligence. As Einstein once said, you can never solve your problems with the same level of thinking you used to create them. What if your need to have it all figured out was the very thing stopping you from figuring it out? 5. This is only a part of your chapter in a greater story Imagine your ninety-year-old self, someone who has lived a full, content, satisfied life and is looking back across the whole of it. What would that version of you say about the situation you are currently in? Imagine watching a full movie of your own life. This is part of one chapter. How would you want your character to respond? The Stoics used daily reflection on mortality to gain perspective and remind themselves what really mattered, what to take seriously and what not to. At the end of your life, looking back from a greater plane at this current situation, what occurs to you? What really matters? What does your older and wiser self want you to know right now? Hold these five reminders close, not just for today, but for every season that feels tough. Feel free to send this to a friend or colleague who may benefit. Jaineel P.S. Here are 5 ways I can support your journey:
Enjoyed this newsletter? Send it to a friend or colleague. Sign up here for more. |
