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If you were to wear a pair of glasses with a red lens, what colour would the sky look to you? What about if it were a green lens? So, what dictates the colour of the sky? Multiple factors, of course. The physicists amongst us could get technical and talk about the atmospheric gases, white light being refracted, and so on. But from a subjective view in this case, it would be the colour lens we wear. Someone not wearing glasses would see a blue sky. Someone next to you who is wearing red glasses may see a purple sky, a combination of the red and blue. Where am I going with this? Separate realities That’s what they call it in psychology. More specifically, I want to focus on the lenses through which we interpret situations. When we wear a lens of ‘I’m not good enough’, everything you hear and see will confirm the bias of this lens. When you wear a lens of ‘he’s so arrogant’, everything you see or hear from him would be arrogant. I’m not saying he’s not arrogant. What I’m pointing to is the lens through which we are listening to him. Are you listening from a red lens? Or are you listening with an open minded ‘no lens at all’? Real listening is listening without a lens. When we are able to consciously be present and listen without preconception, bias, or judgement. This is when we can really connect with someone, really hear them. So, next time you are in conversation with another, first look at the conversation between you and your own mind. Because the mind is interpreting the external through the internal glasses. Take the glasses off. And you’ll truly hear with an open heart and mind. A tip I usually share with clients is this: listen, and then ask open ended questions about the thing you understood the least. Imagine the possibility when you listen from this level, when 99% of people are listening from a lens… Jaineel p.s here’s how I can support you on next steps:
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