Stop Trying to Be Impressive

“I feel like there’s a lot blocking me. Things in the way that stop me from living life in true flow and performance.”

These were Amar’s words in one of our initial conversations.

Amar is a man who thrives with both sides of his brain. A talented singer and a neurosurgeon. When he joined Project Hero, our men’s group, he was searching for something more.

During one of our group calls, Amar opened up. He felt stuck getting in his own way. His energy, his mind, his performance had all plateaued.

As I listened, I noticed something.

Amar was making it all about himself. And it was his biggest blindspot.

He was focused on looking good, worrying about how others perceived him, obsessing over how his social media looked.

I could feel his frustration because I’ve been there myself.

Even though my journey in this space started from a place of purpose and impact, I’ve certainly found myself consumed by my own insecurities. Trying to be impressive when deep down I felt stuck and empty.

In those moments, I had to remind myself of powerful distinction:

Me vs. The Mission

When we focus on the mission we’re here to serve, particularly as leaders, we access a greater energy beyond our finite selves.

We become unstoppable.

But when we focus on “me” – looking good, being impressive, self-centered…there’s only so far we can go.

It feels like a constant chase, never achieving that ultimate feeling of being truly alive and it shows in our performance.

So I called Amar out on it.

I remember that conversation vividly. In that moment, we got crystal clear on what his mission really is.

He got clear that his mission is to…spread joy through music.

That’s what he’s here to do. That who he is.

The mission and him are not separate, he is his mission.

When he focuses on this mission, everything shifts.

He becomes the messenger.

He stops thinking about looking good, being impressive, being needy of validation.

He’s here to serve and lead. He comes from a place of true giving.

Not to receive likes, follows, and applause.

His career, both in the theatre and on the stage, reached another level.

In another conversation, we created a vision together. His own concert in his home town of Newcastle.

It felt like a distant dream. But from this place of serving his mission, he made it a reality in September 2024.

When he sent me the flyer for his next concert in a few weeks’ time, I couldn’t help but stop and reflect.

This man continues to inspire me with all that he’s become and how he continues to lead his mission.

He’s a living reminder of what it means to lead your calling from a place of service.

When we focus less on ourselves and more on the people we serve, something powerful happens:

We stop worrying about what others think. We don’t fear failure because we can never truly fail on this journey. There’s less mental noise getting in the way of expressing our most authentic self. A greater energy flows through us with deeper resilience, willpower, and creativity. Life and work feel so much more alive. It fuels you rather than drains you.

Let go trying to please your small little mind.

There’s a greater intelligence wanting to move through you, wanting to make a difference to others.

Focus on allowing that energy to flow through and your whole world will change.

So I ask you:

Where are you focused too much on yourself?

If you shifted your focus to the what makes you feel alive and that which makes a different, what could be unlocked for you?

You can listen to Amar’s music on Spotify here and follow his journey on TikTok and Instagram.

Go and support his mission, he’s making real difference in a world focused on trying to get more attention.

And you can find details of Amar’s Concert here.

Self-Mastery Leadership and Performance – Team Workshops

Every month, I deliver 2 bespoke “Lead From Within” workshops to executive leadership teams globally.

If you’d like a brochure, or would like to speak about a workshop for your team, reply to this email with “workshop” sharing more about you and what you’re looking for as outcomes, and I’’ll get back to you.

Project Hero – The Elite Experience

Every year, I take 5 men on a powerful journey of transformation. It’s been the most bespoke and highly curated experience I’ve created with a 100% success rate. It involves deep coaching, luxury group experiences across the world (New Zealand, Cape Town, Maldives and Yosemite National Park) and physical endurance events. If you’re interested in having a conversation about this or seeing the brochure, reply to this email with the subject line “Project Hero” and tell me more about yourself.

1:1 Coaching Opportunities

If you’d like to explore this opportunity, reply to this newsletter with “Coaching,” and I’ll send you an application form.

Take this step toward achieving your goals from an aligned place today.