Thriving Scholar — Executive Coaching & Leadership
Wanting vs Needing
Jaineel Mistry
Today, I’m going to share with you a simple tool to escape a life of scarcity and move into creating more abundance.
The problem is that many of us are stopped from creating the things we want because we are running around chasing what we think we need.
How does this look like?
Let’s start to transform that so you can live a live of true freedom, aliveness, and inner peace.
“People don’t get what they want because they’re too busy seeking what they believe they need.” – Dan Sullivan in 10x is easier than 2x.
Takeaways from today:
Stop needing. Start wanting.
How do you feel when you say that you need to pay the bills?
Most likely you feel trapped, like it’s a chore, that you have no choice or creative control.
When I say that, I feel like it’s a problem!
The problem isn’t the bills. The problem is the way you perceive them.
No one is putting a gun to your head to pay the bills. You want to pay them.
How does it feel when you say “I want to pay the bills”?
Wanting feels like it’s a choice, feels like you’re in ownership and that there’s an inner drive to pay them.
Imagine continuing to live life from a place of need. It feels like you’re always behind, that you need something from people, that you’re not enough and you need something outside of you to make you enough.
In their book 10x is easier than 2x, Dan Sullivan and Ben Hardy share the following:
“Needing is extrinsically motivated, whereas wanting is intrinsically motivated.” “Needing is security-driven, whereas wanting is freedom-driven.” “Needing is scarcity-minded, whereas wanting is abundance-minded.” “Needing is reactive, whereas wanting is creative.”
Wanters come from a place of creation and abundance; they create things that didn’t exist before.
Quit justifying your wants
People who live life based on need feel as if they have to justify themselves and their actions to be accepted by other people. You may find yourself holding back on what you want because there may be no real justification for it.
You may not be able to explain to others why you want it and so you ignore your desire for it and class it as “invalid”.
How would life be like if you had to continue to justify every single desire you had?
Your heart is telling you to go for something and your mind is trying to create a rational reason why.
It’s a restrictive and limiting way of living.
Needing to justify comes from a place of scarcity.
Wanting comes from abundant creation.
Solution: Stop justifying your wants. Focus on what makes you feel alive.
Instead, ALLOW life to flow through you.
Allow yourself to want to create more money.
Allow yourself to want to feel more energetic and quit unhealthy habits.
Allow yourself to want to spend more time alone.
All with no justification why. Do it for the joy of it.
True freedom lies in honouring your true “wants”
Humanity relies on desire.
You wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for desire. Your business, job, relationships, food in your fridge wouldn’t exist if it were not for someone’s desire to create it.
Desire keeps the world moving around.
There is one quality which one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it.
— Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich
Yet the problem is many of us hold back on getting real with what we truly want.
You may believe you’re not worthy of it.
You may believe it’s not possible.
You may believe you have to struggle first.
You may even judge your desire as being silly.
Imagine living life like this?
You are an abundant creator. You can create something from nothing. You have that superpower within you.
When we keep our true desires within us, we feel trapped, we feel restricted, we never really are fulfilled.
Until you get real with what you really want and commit to it, you’re not free.
“Committing to what you want is the only way to be free.” – Dan Sullivan
Life as an Ocean: Drifter vs. Captain
Life is like an ocean. When you live in ‘need’, you’re like a drifter, passively carried by external forces and societal expectations, feeling lost and reactive. However, adopting a ‘want’ mindset transforms you into a ship’s captain, actively setting your course with intention and clarity. You navigate life’s challenges with purpose, steering towards your chosen goals, embodying freedom and fulfilment.
Daily Reflection Question:
What do I want?
P.S. Want to support me in the movement to help more people live a better life and lead from within?
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If you feel aligned with this work and would like to explore whether it is the right fit, you are welcome to reach out. Every enquiry is read personally. If there is alignment, we will take the next step together.