The 5 Habits To Stop To Tune Your State

Hey [FIRST NAME GOES HERE]
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Have you ever worked harder than you’ve ever worked, followed all the right advice, done everything you were supposed to do… and still felt like you were pushing a boulder uphill?

Maybe you’re building a business but constantly feeling behind. Or leading a team whilst quietly battling imposter syndrome. Or chasing goals that somehow feel hollow even when you hit them.

What if the issue isn’t that you’re doing the wrong things? What if you’re simply operating from an internal state that doesn’t serve the outcomes you want to create?

For years, I believed that if something wasn’t working, the answer was to push harder. More strategy. More discipline. More effort. So I kept moving, wondering why I wasn’t getting very far.

The issue wasn’t my strategy or work ethic. It was that I was trying to solve an inner problem using outer frameworks. I was broadcasting scarcity whilst chasing abundance. Leading from contraction whilst trying to create expansion. No amount of effort or productivity hacks could fix that misalignment.

Here’s the truth that goes against everything hustle culture teaches: your internal state determines what you perceive. What you perceive determines the choices you make. Your choices compound into the life you experience. This means the same strategy applied from a different state produces an entirely different result.

This explains why smart people self-sabotage. Why achievers feel empty. Why leadership advice “works” for some and not others. Why more effort often makes things worse.

And this isn’t just about peak performance or chasing big outcomes. This is about how you live every single day. How you show up in mundane moments. It’s about tuning your state so you can come home to your true nature, not just when the stakes are high, but especially when they’re not.

Think of it like tuning a radio. The station you want is already broadcasting, but if the dial is slightly off, all you hear is static. Turning up the volume (doing more, trying harder) doesn’t bring clarity. It only amplifies the noise. The problem isn’t the signal – it’s the tuning.

Below I share 5 habits to let go of, inspired by Alan Watts’ work. He spoke about five specific patterns (five habits of mind) that when released, lift your energy instantly. Not gradually, but instantly.

What struck me wasn’t just the wisdom itself, but how precisely it mapped onto what I’ve been teaching about state. These aren’t abstract spiritual concepts. They’re practical shifts that change how you perceive reality and, therefore, how reality responds to you and the world you live in.

1. Let go of trying to control outcomes

Most of us grip tightly to how we think things should unfold. We believe we’re safer when we’re directing every moment, managing every variable. But control is rooted in fear. Fear that life won’t provide. Fear that something might go wrong. Fear constricts energy.

When you release the need to control outcomes and instead focus on guiding your intention, something shifts. You move from fear to trust. Trust is your natural flow. It allows energy to flow freely again. Letting go of control isn’t about becoming passive. It’s about discerning what you can control, and what you can’t. Most of the time it’s being intentional about the inputs and allowing the outputs to emerge without attachment to them.

Reflection: Where in your life are you gripping most tightly right now? What would it feel like to loosen that grip, even just slightly?

2. Stop absorbing other people’s emotional baggage

Most people don’t realise how porous they are. They walk through the world like sponges, absorbing every tone, every mood, every anxiety from the people around them. Someone complains and suddenly you feel heavy. Someone is angry and now you feel unsettled.

Watts speaks about the difference between compassion and emotional absorption. “Compassion is understanding whereas absorption is self-abandonment”, he shares. When you carry other people’s emotional loads, you dilute your own frequency. You disconnect from your own truth. Give yourself permission to be a clear and authentic field of energy. Not everyone will manage their own energy, but that doesn’t mean you must sacrifice yours.

Reflection: Whose energy have you been carrying that isn’t yours to carry? What would change if you gave yourself permission to release it?

3. Release the stories that keep you small

Every human being lives inside a story. Some stories uplift you. Many stories imprison you. “I’m not good enough.” “Things never work out for me.” “I don’t know how.”

I used to tell myself “I don’t know how” constantly. This innocent creation shaped my whole world. I would look at other people and think “how did they do that?!” I would go around in circles getting frustrated. If I’d continued that way, it would have killed my dreams.

Here’s the liberating truth: your stories are not facts. They’re choices, many times unconscious. They’re interpretations from a younger version of you who didn’t yet understand their power. When you let go of these stories, you loosen the chains around your consciousness.

Reflection: What’s one story you’ve been telling yourself about who you are that might not actually be true? What becomes possible if you let it go?

4. Stop rehearsing old pain

If there’s one thing that lowers your vibration more than anything else, it’s resentment. Not anger – anger is temporary. Resentment is a habit. It’s the quiet, unconscious practice of replaying old pain, old betrayals, old disappointments over and over again.

Every time you rehearse an old hurt, you energetically return to the moment it happened. Your body doesn’t know the difference between remembering and experiencing. The wound never heals and it becomes a loop.

Forgiveness isn’t about saying what happened was acceptable. It’s about freeing yourself. It’s about reclaiming the energy you’ve poured into maintaining your pain. When you give up resentment, your energy lifts immediately.

Reflection: What old pain are you still replaying in the background of your mind? What would it feel like to reclaim that energy for yourself?

5. Give up the fear of being your true self

This is perhaps the most transformational of them all. Most people are afraid to be who they truly are. They fear judgement, rejection, and standing out. So they fragment themselves. They hide behind masks designed to make them acceptable, likeable, predictable.

Every time you hide your true self, your vibration collapses. Because authenticity is the natural frequency of the soul. When you allow yourself to be who you are, unapologetically, unguardedly, your energy rises instantly. Because authenticity is alignment. Your inner and outer worlds match. Your presence becomes powerful because of coherence in your signal.

There’s nothing more magnetic than a person who is fully themselves. You’re no longer wasting energy maintaining a false identity. You’re simply expressing the energy that was always meant to flow through you, and you become a leader that gives inspiration and permission for others to be and do the same.

Reflection: In what area of your life are you playing it safe or hiding who you truly are? What would you do differently if you weren’t afraid of being seen?

These habits are not about trying to become someone new. You’re allowing yourself to return to who you already are. Your natural state. The version of you that is most present, grounded, and alive.

Each of these five things: control, absorbed emotion, limiting stories, resentment, fear of authenticity – are stones you were taught to carry. And as they fall away, your wings begin to function again. Your vibration rises not because you’ve added anything new, but because you’ve remembered what it feels like to be unburdened.

You don’t attract what you chase. You attract who you’re being. Your state is your signal. And life responds to that signal before you speak, before you act, before you even enter the room.

Start tuning deliberately. The world reorganises around you when you do.

With Love,
Jaineel

P.s. Here are 4 ways I can support you on your journey to Lead From Within:

1) BRAND NEW 2026 Program!! Join Living From Within 5 week Group Journey – a quiet and reflective space with no hype to help you navigate 2026 from an aligned, calm, and powerful place. ​

2) 📓 Journal with Jaineel 7 Day Experience for Free – 7 days, 10 minutes a day. One prompt. ​

3) 🧘 Download my free guided meditation – 20 minutes to calibrate your energy and shift your state. Remember: you don’t attract what you want, you attract who you are. ​

4) 📞 Let’s talk – If you’re ready to do this work 1:1 or in a group setting, book a call with me ​