How I Dealt With My Anxiety at 3:15am

On Thursday morning I woke up at 3:15am with a little anxiety.

Although rather unusual for me, my mind was spinning thinking about revenue targets, how are my multiple projects going to unfold, how is this all going to come together?!

Sound familiar?

I was projecting ahead getting caught up in my thinking.

In the past, I would’ve let it dabble in this thinking more and then it would have affected my sleep and my energy the next day.

But then I had a flush of insight.

This anxiety is progress.

Kabbalistic wisdom and Universal Law teaches that the whole purpose of darkness is to expand our Kli, our energy vessel. Our capacity to receive greater things.

From a scientific point of view, neuroscience shows us that the nervous system doesn’t grow in comfort. It grows through contrast, through challenge, through discomfort. The system recalibrates, expands, and builds new capacity. It’s the same principle behind how a muscle tears slightly under load and grows back stronger.

Your mind is no different.

So as I was lying there at 3:15am, instead of fighting it, I thought: how amazing is this. My capacity to receive is being increased right now.

I caught the anxiety sooner and this is where the practice lies (it’s taken years of practice and I’m still work in progress).

We live in a world of duality. There is no clarity without contrast. No calm without the chaos. No light without the darkness.

The anxiety wasn’t a malfunction, it simply was a signal and I knew there was clarity at the end of it, somewhere.

I didn’t know exactly what I was getting clear on yet. But I was at peace with that. The darkness itself was the progress and I went back to sleep.

Then morning came.

I was feeling a bit crappy. In my meditation, the thinking was still there.

And here’s where most people innocently go wrong.

They try to fix it. Different hacks, tricks, all kinds of stuff you see on a 30 second Instagram Reel. But you can’t visualise your way out of anxiety and you can’t fix your way out of it either.

Here’s why, and this is where the science matters.

When you try to force a different mental state, you’re asking your rational brain to override your fear response. Which sounds logical. But research shows that suppression doesn’t process the underlying signal, it just pushes it down, and it resurfaces later, louder.

The only real way through is to become aware that you are not the thinking that is causing the anxiety. You are not your anxious thoughts. You are the observer, not the storm.

And so in that moment, I just allowed the thinking to come and go. I created a space for it without fixing, just being with it and creating space to feel.

Because a lot of times we get so caught up in our thinking, but if we slow down, we can actually feel. I approached it with curiosity, just being with that thinking, listening to it. And as I created more space, something shifted.

I was then able to focus my attention and ask: what is this trying to tell me?

Not what am I anxious about. What do I want?

Because at the end of this, there is always wisdom. And the only way we can sense wisdom is through feeling our wisdom.

Think of it like your emotional guidance system. Just like sensory receptors in your skin tell your brain to pull back from a hot stove, your emotions give you real-time feedback on your own alignment. When something feels off, that’s not weakness. That’s data.

I started feeling what felt like relief, asking myself where this was leading me. Given my anxiety, what was it guiding me towards?

For me this morning, I realised I’ve been doing a lot of creative work on the business, but now it’s time for more aligned action on direct revenue generating activities. Once I realised that, once I started acting on that, the anxiety went away.

The anxiety wasn’t a problem. It was a signal. And once I decoded the signal, it had done its job.

Here’s what I want you to take from this:

Next time anxiety shows up at 3am, or in a morning meditation, or in a quiet moment you weren’t expecting, notice your immediate need to reach for a fix and pause.

Instead, try this:

First, create space. Don’t fight it. Don’t try to visualise your way out. Let the thinking come and go without trying to fix it.

Second, get curious. Approach it like it’s information, not a problem. What is this contrast telling you?

Third, feel your way forward. Ask yourself what feels better right now? What is this guiding me towards? What do I actually want?

The darkness is always pointing towards something. Your capacity to receive is increasing. And light will emerge.

Trust that.

Ready to go deeper?

I’m currently taking 3 select executive clients for 1:1 coaching. If you’re someone who wants to get support with some of your greatest challenges and awaken your power to create more money, impact, and vitality through self-leadership, reply to this email with “self-leadership” and let’s see if there’s a good fit.

J

P.s. here are a few ways I can support your journey:

1) WE ARE AT CAPACITY for our Elite Leadership Experience Circle on Wednesday 4th March 5pm GMT – Be in a powerful space to uncover your blind spots with other growth minded professionals. Join the waiting list for the next one . ​
​2) 📓 Journal with Jaineel 7 Day Experience for Free – 7 days, 10 minutes a day. One prompt. ​

3) 🧘 Download my free guided meditation – 20 minutes to calibrate your energy and shift your state. Remember: you don’t attract what you want, you attract who you are. ​

4) 📞 Let’s talk – If you’re ready to do this work 1:1 or in a group setting, book a call with me ​