I Don’t Know What I’m Doing With My Life

Today, I’m going to share 4 reminders that will get you out of a rut and back in your flow.

I woke up this morning feeling flat, out of my flow. I felt like I was going through the motions. The day I had planned ahead was simply a tick-box kind of day, getting things done that I needed to.

I was going to write an article from my list of topics and follow the same kind of template I usually do. But something has been missing this week. The joy I usually have for all that I write about seemed to have jogged away. The aliveness and sense of wonder has temporarily gone.

As I meditated and read Page 83 of Brianna Wiest’s “101 Essays that Will Change the Way You Think,” it hit me as to where I was stuck. I was lost in my thoughts of “I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.” 🤦‍♂️

Many of us have this big stressor in our life.

News alert: No one fucking knows what they’re doing with their life!

The problem is many of us have an illusionary plan mapped out in our minds as to how we want our lives to go. Having a 5 or 10-year plan isn’t being smart. It’s delusional. Having a vision can be inspiring. But a plan, a step-by-step method of how you’ll achieve it? DELUSIONAL.

The plan strips us of our internal navigation system – that part of us that is infinite. And here we are with our finite minds thinking we need to have it all figured out.

So here’s what I had to remind myself of this week: Stop it. Stop trying to figure it out. You figuring it out is keeping the answers at bay. It keeps you limited. This plan or path is created by our finite minds with the limited knowledge we have. There’s a greater intelligence out there constantly guiding you from within. Following a life plan sucks the joy out of life and keeps you miserable!

Here are 4 reminders that helped me and may help you get out of a rut and plug back into the flow of life:

1. The straightforward life path is an illusion

“What do you want to do when you’re older?” is a question we are often asked as children. The question mostly is asked in the context of our careers.

We’ve been educated in institutions that have had to cater to the masses. We’ve been conditioned to believe our lives are to follow a set path. A series of tick boxes. A belief that that is a productive and successful life.

Is it? Imagine following a series of tick boxes to come to the end of your life still feeling miserable.

We’ve all heard the study palliative care nurses undertook in terminally ill patients that showed that one of the biggest regrets at the end of life is not living true to themselves.

Forget the end of life even. You may die in a car crash with no opportunity to reflect on your life. Think about the present. How excited are you right now? Is what you’re doing today making you feel alive?

I’m not here to bring some false illusion that every day needs to be hunky dory. More so, even the challenges in life can be an adventure when we are on the path our soul deeply wants to take.

2. No one knows what they’re doing with their life

We think everyone has it all figured out apart from us. The truth is no one does. Even the people you look up to the most are still trying to figure it out.

Life is in constant flux. The external environment is constantly changing – technology, politics, business, and the economy. Most importantly, the internal environment is too. Both are the same. It’s all part of the greater intelligence.

I had to remind myself this week to be kind to myself. You may be looking at others thinking that they have it all figured out. You see their life path on a typical trajectory and think they’ve got their shit together. They don’t.

They have more desires coming through them that they are wanting to fulfill and don’t know how. They have problems that need solving.

The biggest problem we have today is that we are obsessed with the lives of others. We compare all the time.

Forget others, your whole experience of life is created within you.

3. Let go of what you wanted in the past and embrace what you want NOW

Forgive yourself for not having what you once thought you wanted. Chances are, you no longer want them. Get real with yourself. Radical honesty. Are the things you want exciting you? Do they make you feel alive? Does the idea of it move you into action? If they don’t, you don’t want it. You think you want it. Let go of that thinking. It’s keeping you stuck.

Have the courage to go within your heart. Have the courage to get real with yourself. Have the courage to surrender to the guidance within you sharing what you really want. Have the courage to reflect and act on what makes you feel alive. Even if it isn’t popular. Even if others will question you. Even if you have to burn all the stuff you’ve done in the past away.

What makes you feel alive, today? Sometimes it doesn’t need to be a whole new direction, but a small and specific tweak in the way you’re conducting your project.

4. Your life doesn’t follow a set plan

There’s a place for a plan. When working in a professional setting and you have a team involved, a plan is vital. A Formula 1 team can’t operate without a plan of how they will conduct a pit stop in less than 2 seconds. But in this context, we are talking about your life.

Looking back at it, you couldn’t have controlled how everything in your life has come about. The problem is we try to control things. We have a vision and we want to have a sense of control. We want to control the whole journey. It causes internal friction, frustration, and squeezes the joy out of life. Imagine living your whole life like this? The joy, peace, excitement you think that goal will bring will continue to be speeding off in the distance.

Let go of it. Let go of following a formula. Go within and listen.

Ask yourself daily: “What makes me feel alive, now?” “What do I want, now?” “What is the path of joy, now?”

Have some space in your day to act on it. You can still act on this spontaneity with your daily responsibilities. You can still act on your guidance AND drop the kids to school, cook dinner for the family, lead the meetings at work and finish off the admin. Put a calendar invite for yourself daily – ideally first thing in the morning before the daily responsibilities come in – to act on your highest excitement. It might just change your life.

Maybe following that spark within you and acting on it will completely change how you view the “boring and mundane”. Maybe now you’d find joy in it because finally, you’ve let go of the excuses to not follow that calling from within.

Forget about what you want to do with your entire life and focus on the next step.

Reflection questions:

Go be that person. Go do that thing. Go create something that excites you.

Ready for your transformation?

If you’re a corporate executive, entrepreneur, or high performer and are feeling deep within you that you could do with some transformative support unlocking your next level to achieve results – I have 3 x 1:1 coaching slots available. Drop me a reply to this email and I’ll send you a form to apply.

Self-Mastery Workshops

Our next workshop will be on Wednesday 24th July 7:30 – 8:30pm BST. Where we’ll be going through a 3 step visualisation process live in the workshop and I’ll be sharing more of the science behind it and how you can implement it in your day-to-day routine.

If you want to join, block it off your calendar.

Zoom link to join: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/7053060039