How to Deal With Negative Things That Happen

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been speaking to many people that have been affected by what we’re currently seeing on the news.

Videos circulating on social media can pop up on our screens, triggering a range of emotions. From anger, frustration, helplessness, to compassion and gratitude.

Questions that arise:

Today, I’ll share a key distinction which I have learned over the last few years and one I have used many times in coaching leaders to face current reality whilst being grounded to consciously create a world (or company, or household, or community) they would like to be part of.

It’s also been a distinction that’s been very important in my life, including how I approach watching or reading the news.

I’ll also share how I consume media purposefully.

We Create Our Reality

It’s important to state here a fundamental truth.

We all create our reality. It’s why one person in one part of the world could read the same article in a newspaper and interpret it in a completely different way to someone else who’s read the same article in the same language.

In Psychology, we call this Separate Realities.

One article. Infinite realities.
One meeting. Infinite interpretations of what was said.
One event. Infinite opinions.

We must understand that not everyone sees the world in the same way that we do.

This allows us to listen to others with compassion and avoid our natural tendency to decipher things as “I’m right, you’re wrong.”

This understanding has allowed me to get out of my own head, be less triggered, and become a powerful listener of others when approaching situations I want to influence or impact.

The Distinction: The Reported World vs Created World

The reported world is exactly that. Someone reporting on current reality. There are many things in the news you may not like to see, particularly in the last 5 weeks or so.

The reported world is how it currently is. Whether that be a war, a humanitarian crisis, a hostage situation….or your accountant presenting your tax bill.

The created world is a world that exists as a possibility, an ideal, a vision. It’s a world you desire. A vision you would like to create.

Accepting Current Reality

The more we resist current reality, the more we feel stuck, frustrated, and annoyed. Natural laws of physics states that the more we resist something, the more it resists back.

Accepting current reality doesn’t mean we are classing a war or a humanitarian as “acceptable”. It means we are open to facing the harsh reality as it is. Head on.

Once we can accept and acknowledge how things are and face it head on, only then can we move into creating a world we want to see.

If we don’t move away from the problem, we can’t think of a solution.

The Power of Contrast

The things we don’t want to see in our lives and in the world help us get clearer on what we do want to see.

As you see and face things in life that you don’t like, as you acknowledge and accept it, you can ask yourself questions such as:

The contrast of what we don’t want allows us to gain clarity on what we do want.

The Created World

The world is full of people who fight against current reality. They see what they don’t like in the world and complain about it and they leave it there. There lies no progress.

The world relies on a few bold leaders who ask themselves the question:

This may be a more loving and compassionate world.

It may be a new company solving a problem in the world.

It may be a new movement.

Mahatma Gandhi liberated India via what we call “non-violent resistance” in the western world.

In sanskrit, the word he used was satyagraha.

The word comes from two Sanskrit words: Sat means “beingness” Graha means “polite insistence” or “force”

He believed in and fiercely challenged his followers to stand in the power of truth. He showed up and lived in integrity with his highest ideals.

Gandhi acknowledged and accepted current reality to move into a created world, lived in integrity with it, and enrolled others on the vision.

An equation I learned from Brian Johnson from Heroic as I undertook his Coaching Training is what he calls the Soul Force.

He describes soul force as a superpower all of humanities heroes had:

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Soul Force = (Energy x Focus x What’s Important Now) x Consistency

I’m inspired by this because whenever I see something in the world that doesn’t align with me, it provides the contrast I need and helps me focus on the world I do want to create. It gives me the drive to serve a mission that elevates humanity.

The best thing we can do for humanity as leaders is bring our inner purpose and drive into our mission in the world.

Practical Tips for Conscious Consumption

So, what does this mean practically on a day-to-day basis?

How can you maintain a high level of energy, stay focused on what’s important now, and be consistent in working toward a purpose greater than yourself even when parts of your world seem to be falling apart?

Here are a few practical tips you can experiment with to shift from reported to created world:

For me, it’s not about ignoring problems. It’s being focused and part of being the solution.

The best thing we can do for humanity is to be connected with and lead ourselves.

The next best thing is to be the change we want to see.

If this resonated with you, please share this issue with at least 2 friends and one community you are part of who you think could benefit.