3-Step Framework to Master Fear and Self-Doubt

In today’s 4 minute newsletter we’ll tackle the challenge of the paralysis of fear holding you back from that one thing you deeply want to do, share, or be, but feel stuck. I’ll share a 3-step framework so you can take steps to consciously deal with fear and doubt in your mind and make progress forward with COURAGE.

Having practical tools at your disposal to connect with that greater version of you to then overcome fear and doubt in any moment is vital for overcoming uncertainty, facing your own limitations, and leading in your work and/or business.

If you continue to be held back by your own mind, you’ll miss out on opportunities and remain stagnant in your career or business, you’ll feel a level of dissatisfaction with a lack of confidence because you aren’t being who you are capable of being and you’ll have an inability to form deep meaningful relationships – which require vulnerability.

Courage

The word courage comes from the Old French word corage. In Latin, cor ‘heart’.

In The Courage Quotient, Author Robert Biswas-Diener shares the concept of the Courage Quotient.

“Courage contains two primary internal elements: the willingness to act and the ability to control fear. When you can successfully curb your fears and boost your ability to take action, you are better able to live a full and virtuous life. You are more likely to face challenges with grace, connect with and inspire others, and be a force for good.”

On my journey, I continue to learn that the more I connect with my mission and purpose and when it becomes bigger than my fear in the moment, I come alive.

How most deal with fear

Some of us just keep ourselves busy being busy, and we may not even notice we are fearful of taking the next step. This may show up as procrastination or failing to make decisions.

This results in fear completely stopping us from living authentically and creating the life we truly desire and are capable of.

Secondly, some of us just ignore it. We “push through it”. We just “get on with it”. This is a better way of dealing with than the former because you are taking action. But the action you still comes from a place of pushing and resisting the fear.

Most of the personal development advice you’ll find will focus on this as a strategy but the more we resist something the greater it will resist back. There’s a way of making this more sustainable for success and more joyful on the journey.

A Story of Mind Mastery

Earlier this week I was speaking to a client of mine. He’s a creative artist and talented photographer. As an introvert, he found it difficult to express himself offline at networking events and online by sharing himself and his content.

We didn’t take the short route of “feel the fear and do it anyway.” The work we do isn’t a quick fix overnight. We’ve been working together 1:1 for 11 months now. This week he received an influx of new business – one being from one of the biggest social media companies in the world!

“I feel like I’ve finally opened up” he told me. It’s been a process of getting really clear and connected within himself. Who he is, what he stands for, the mission he is on. Not only that, but the ability to deal with his mind when he finds himself doubting himself.

This mind mastery has been vital for getting out of his own way when he finds himself closing up in a networking event, or when he receives a project as part of his business and faces imposter syndrome, or when he wants to express his true self with the world – which requires vulnerability.

Here is 3-step framework we spoke about as part of the Lead From Within Model that you can bring into any moment where you find yourself needing to overcome your fear and doubt and lead with courage.

1. Love that part of you that is fearing

What is fear? It’s a thought. It’s a thought generated by the smaller version of you. Thought generated by your finite self or ego, that wants to protect itself. It’s a valid thought and we must acknowledge its presence. It’s part of us and always will be – particularly for ambitious people like you and me who always want to push our own boundaries.

What do I mean by love that part of us that is fearing? It means to create space, breath, close your eyes and acknowledge fear. This takes 10 seconds. You might even say in your head “I see you fear, I feel your presence, thank you.”

When we come from a place beyond thought, we can’t be one with the thought. We are being something or someone bigger than our thoughts.

As you do this, you are now being the greater version of you. A place different from fear. You are not reacting to fear but allowing it to come and go. You are creating space for it rather than resisting it.

It’s like when you are agreeing with someone who wants to start an argument with you. When you agree with them, they have no other place to go and the argument gets squashed there and then.

2. What would the future version of me in this area of life do now?

Now you are coming from a greater place than the small thought of fear, reflect on the future version of you. The version of you who has clarity of purpose, who’s leading life authentically, and has the energy of an athlete.

What would he or she do now? Straight away this puts you in a place of being a greater version of you with clarity of action. You’re able to come up with ideas on how you would respond to the specific situation.

You would share that post on social media.

You would ask for that introduction.

You would speak up.

3. Act with 5% more courage

There are many things your future version would do right now. But let’s make it doable and simple. What’s that one next step that isn’t so daunting but slightly uncomfortable? But it kinda would make you feel alive once you’d done it? 

Another way to elicit the answer is: what would 5% more courage look like?

And then….GO DO IT!

Think big. Start small.

Ready to go deeper?

Summary of your next steps

Focus on that one area where you feel held back and practise the 3-step courage framework: