3 Questions That Dictate Your Life

Today, I’m going to share 3 questions that dictate our whole experience of life – something I learned from Tony Robbins.

The problem is that many times how we respond to a situation is simply a reaction of the past, the experiences we’ve had, and our unconscious patterns.

This way, there is no creative control of our lives. We are creating simply from our past experiences and the worst thing is, we often are blind to it.

Think of your brain as a piece of software that interprets things with the current code it has. Don’t take this personally as you read through these questions. It’s more of a process of a software update – raising awareness and inserting new code.

If you want to master creating your life consciously.

You must master these three questions.

1. What am I going to focus on?

In any one moment, we have unlimited things we could focus on, yet we can only focus on a few things at a time.

As I sit here and write this, I could focus on: how I’m in Amsterdam yet it’s raining like crazy outside, I could focus on how grateful I am to be here for a workshop, or I could focus on judging myself for writing this newsletter way later in the week than I usually do – leaving it to the last minute.

So many thoughts I could focus on in any given moment.

Here are two important patterns of focus:

a. What you have or what’s missing

If you continue to focus on what’s missing, as many of us high achievers do, it can be damaging. It leads us down a life of misery, lack, and sadness.

This is why many times, setting goals can have a negative effect if we continue to keep score of where we are now in relation to the expected goal. If that gap puts us in a place of lack, our state of being is one of “not having achieved it yet” and so we create more of that in our lives.

Shifting your attention from what you don’t have to what you do have will change your life.

When you focus on what you do have, you feel alive, joy, abundance. You then attract more of this.

You could have a goal/intention, but then focus on getting in the place of the feeling of already having achieved that goal. Sometimes, focusing on all the things which you already have that were once goals, can be a simple way to achieve this feeling.

b. What you can control vs can’t control 

Focusing on things we can’t control makes us feel helpless and be victims of our circumstances.

Focusing on what you can control puts us back in a place of power and creativity.

I’ve previously written about the importance of acceptance. I think it’s important we radically accept the things we can’t control: the weather, the government policy, the fact our flight is delayed so we are not stuck there, and then shift focus on what we can control.

The problem in today’s world is that our attention is product for many billion dollar tech companies. This requires even more practice of being mindful of where our attention does and the narrative we focus on.

Whatever thought you focus on creates a feeling. Even if that thought is not true. It comes real when you focus on it.

2. What does this mean?

As humans, we are “meaning making machines”. As we focus on something, we give it meaning.

Even though everything, every situation, is inherently meaningless. Nothing has any meaning apart from the one we give it. Two people can give the exact same situation two opposing meanings.

As a couple go through a challenging conversation in their relationship, one could see make this mean that this is the end of it all. That they are against each other. The other could see this as an important step in the development and deepening on their relationship. A challenge they must rise to. The way they both behave and respond will be completely different.

3. What am I going to do?

Meaning creates emotion and emotion is what drives us to act as humans.

You may not be happy with the number that is in your bank account when you review it.

If you’ve given it meaning such us:

It’s likely that you won’t be doing much to create more money. Your actions won’t be very productive in improving that number.

Whereas if you looked at your bank account and still felt crap about what you saw, accepted you don’t like what you see (which is important to acknowledge) and then gave it another meaning (or no meaning at all):

Actions from a place of abundance, joy, excitement of creating more money would be transformative vs actions from a place of lack and shortage consciousness.

Imagine how different life could be in a few years time with consistent action from this energy!!

Practical Actions:

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